Nicola Johnson Coaching

Feedback is not a gift. I don’t know who first said feedback is a gift, but I’ve never fully agreed. If it is a gift, it often feels like it’s wrapped for the person giving it, not the one receiving it.

What if we engaged in conversation instead?

Think about it. How did you feel the last time someone said, “I have some feedback for you, are you open to it?” Did you feel like you had to say yes, even if you weren’t ready, interested, or in the right headspace? For those of you who do want feedback, ask for specific feedback.

The truth is, feedback often serves the person delivering it. It helps them feel helpful, insightful, or in control. But growth doesn’t always come from someone else’s evaluation.

Next time you’re tempted to give feedback, start a conversation instead. Start with recognition and create an environment for learning. For example, that was a great presentation. I noticed your story telling really captured people’s attention and the message was heard. You even had people repeating it back to you. How did it feel for you?

Conversations create connections. Feedback often creates defensiveness. Growth comes from curiosity and dialogue, not judgment disguised as a “gift.” Acknowledgment fuels growth far more effectively than critique.

Here’s the bottom line:

Feedback isn’t a gift. Choose conversation over correction. Be curious, not critical.